This movie concludes my ‘movies that can be factored by three’ night.

Here’s the thing about Session Nine: I am not sure I should have done it as a BMLT.  I had heard it was good and Netflix is relatively reliable on picking out movies that I will like for me.  But I did it and in the interest of fairness, I present the following.  After the tweets I’ll talk more about the movie:

MartianBethany: Gonna be watching Session 9 and doing a livetweet of it here in about fifteen minutes, give or take:

MartianBethany: I am under the impression that the next movie I embark upon my actually be good. I’m pretty sure I can still work in some puns somehow.


riathepinkie: @MartianBethany It will be a test of your punning skills, but I’m sure you can do it.

MartianBethany: Netflix blurb: Desperate for cash, asbestos remover Gordon claims he can clean up an abadnoned psychiatric hospital in a week. But by the-

MartianBethany: time Gordon discovers the truth about the asylum’s gruesome past, the place may cast its curse on his entire crew.

MartianBethany: Okay, starting Session 9 now:

MartianBethany: Tonight’s movie night is brought to you by numbers that can be factored by three #nerdy

MartianBethany: “This place is full of asbestos!” “Well then I guess its’ time-” *puts on sunglasses* “To clean up.” #yeaaaaaah

MartianBethany: The guy who plays Jim brass is in this movie! What the hell?

MartianBethany: Is this like a CSI reunion or something? I know he’s on the other CSI but…

MartianBethany: MartianBethany Bethany Hoyt
If Doc Robbins shows up I swear to god…

MartianBethany: Horatio Cane swearing is a little hilarious though, I have to admit.

MartianBethany: Our intrepid Caruso plays an asbestos cleaner named Phil and they’re cleaning up a mental institution that closed in 1985.

MartianBethany: Gordon is apparently obsessed with the mental institution for some reason. Gordon is Phil’s boss or partner or something.

MartianBethany: And the tv just screamed into a generator running. Um…. kay. Did Gordon just kill his wife and kid?

MartianBethany: Oh god am I the only one who hopes they play Won’t Get Fooled Again at some point? Because that would make this the best.

MartianBethany: Exposition time! The guard is our infodump character!

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Yaaay I’ve always loved the infodump characters.

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie They’re my favorite!

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany So much infromation all at once. A girl could swoon. (no really I love getting lots of info.)

MartianBethany: Oh one of the guy in the group has SPECIAL INFORMATION.

MartianBethany: Was Gordon Scottish before or did that just happen? Maybe he just didn’t talk long enough for me to notice it.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany There’s a guy who is magically Scottish in this movie? AWESOME.

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie I could have just missed it earlier, I won’t swear to it… but I think so.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Well in my head he’s magically Scottish and therefore awesome.

MartianBethany: I’ll give them one thing, the location is genuinely creepy.

MartianBethany: Of course I think we all feel that way about empty mental hospitals.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany They’re just creepy you’d have to go pretty far to make them not creepy as hell.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany i think of empty mental house as home 🙂

MartianBethany: One of the men on the crew, found evidence from a court case a few years ago- there’s a tape that’s pretty creepy.

MartianBethany: The person on the tape is switching between ‘personalities’

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany MPD always fun……shhhh don’t tell her about us

MartianBethany: I’m still quite concerned that Gordon killed his wife and child. I would not be shocked.

MartianBethany: More infodump, although of a better variety. “What the deal with Phil and Hank?” “Hank stole Phil’s girlfriend!”

MartianBethany: I like it, to the god damned point. Also, I point out, that Caruso is pretty much ‘pissed off Horatio’ for much of this movie so far.

MartianBethany: Hank just discovered a whole bunch of change and staff that… ewww might have just fallen out of the back of a crematorium.

MartianBethany: Don’t be an asshole to Mike apparently, he’ll threaten you with a lobotomy in the most technical of terms.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany best form of threat

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany This is why you do no fuck with Malkavian Vampires, we are INSANE…..I mean they

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann Well we’ve hit Vampire: The Masquerade, CSI, and Doctor Who for reference tonight. What next?

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany IT’S MORPHIN TIME

Adamthemann: it just seemed like the right time to pull out the power rangers

MartianBethany: Oh they just found the roses Gordon bought his wife. I think my ‘he killed them’ theory just gained some prevalence.

MartianBethany: And Hank comes to the big abandoned mental institution alone, and at night, in order to sort out the silver cache he found earlier.

MartianBethany: New empty jar of peanut butter… strangest threatening item ever?

MartianBethany: Whoa did Hank just get killed?

MartianBethany: Hank is missing apparently. Didn’t show up for work, and left Amy.

MartianBethany: He’d left Amy before he went to the Institution to gather up all the silver.

MartianBethany: And… lets guess, he got killed and stuffed in the former crematorium he was cleaning out.

MartianBethany: Gordon appears to have blood under his nails- so, Gordon has possibly snapped due to not really wanting the new kid he’s got, and he may-

MartianBethany: have already killed his wife and child. Mike is obsessed with this one case file he’s been looking into. Phil is an ass, Hank is missing.

MartianBethany: Gordon also has his nephew working for him who’s kind of an idiot, but a sweet idiot.

MartianBethany: The former patient, her name was Mary Hobbes and she’s deceased. Mike is obsessively going over her case file.

MartianBethany: Oh apparently Gordon’s wife accidentally splashed boiling water on him and he slapped her, that’s why he’s been all emo.

MartianBethany: “Where are you staying?” “…a motel.” He’s sleeping in the asylum at night. Count on it.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany you say that like it is a bad thing O_o

MartianBethany: .@Adamthemann Because sleeping in an emptied mental asylum at night is a healthy thing to do when you’re fighting with your wife.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany I can see why he would wives tend to drive their husbands insane……BAZINGA

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann No no no, that was the perfect moment for the *puts on sunglasses on* moment.

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann David Caruso’s in this movie, we gotta do something with that.

MartianBethany: I think Phil is trying to take over the business. I won’t swear to it.


Adamthemann: @MartianBethany he became…….ONE OF US ONE OF US

MartianBethany: And THIS movie is where the David Caruso of him going ‘fuck you’ comes from.

MartianBethany: Mike is listening to the 9th Session tape. So that’s the namesake of the movie.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany We got the title referenced in the movies!

MartianBethany: .@riathepinkie NOW I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE OKAY.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany THAT’S THE WAY THIS WORKS!

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany @riathepinkie but what if it is just a trap to lure you into a false sense of complacency before they turn you mental

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann O.o no they can’t do that. They caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan’t.

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie @Adamthemann

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany And there you will find out that this movie was all a Dream. Or Rocks Fall Everybody DIes.

MartianBethany: @HiroOdan You know that happened in the first movie I watched tonight.

MartianBethany: I’m not sure which of them is supposed to have lost their minds here, or who is the psycho.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany All of… Them? The place it’s cursed.

MartianBethany: @HiroOdan Zees place…. eez cursed. (Martian Note: It’s from the Mummy 2. )

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany Exactly 😀

MartianBethany: What just happened? Did Phil just kill everyone? What?

MartianBethany: Bloody hand print on the side of the van is not encouraging.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany Sorry I forgot to wash my hands. I’ll go get a rag. Yeesh

MartianBethany: I think maybe it’s just Phil and Gordon alive, now.

MartianBethany: Disturbingly enough, now that I think about it, the guy on the patient tape records sounds like Phil.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany the most fucked up ending to this movie would be it being one big april fools joke


Adamthemann:@MartianBethany it is usually a Mike who is the killer..

MartianBethany: Noooope wasn’t Mike. Apparently I was right about old Gordon snapping.

MartianBethany: I’m pretty sure I’m right about the similarity between Caruso’s voice and the Doctor’s voice.

MartianBethany: He’s now speaking into a phone without a battery. Also, we can confirm ‘killed wife and baby’

MartianBethany: I was wrong, the doctor’s voice on the tapes was done by someone else.

I’m not kidding about liking this movie.  It was a decent little flick- it had good atmosphere and there were some genuinely creepy moments.  One character finds a jar of peanut butter that clearly someone has recently just emptied, and it is the creepiest damn empty peanut butter container ever- it’s very ominous.  Jiffy.  Is ominous.

The disappointing thing was that the big reveal was ‘he killed his wife and baby’ when I called that from the beginning- as soon as I saw it happen I knew what was what.

However, towards the end it gets really… unclear as to who actually snapped and started killing team members.  Is it Mike?  One of the guys has a rough and dirty lobotomy and Mike was the one who so accurately described them.  Or is it Phil, who has been kind of a smug asshole in places?  Phil seems to have been sneaking around on Gordon.  And it could be Gordon, who’s definitely been cracking up.

So even though I guessed the big reveal, the other bit kept me trying to figure it out and as I like movies that throw me for a loop (with great atmosphere in a really creepy location) .  I’d watch this movie again if I wanted to feel creepy.

Oh, and in the interest of being amused, I present this: