I have to say that I am sometimes surprised by the movies I pick out for Live Tweet nights.  Sometimes it’s because they are not as interesting as I’d hoped (boring as hell, in other words) and sometimes it’s because the movie is good.

This one is.  Oh, yes, I pick it apart.  Even in picking it apart I found myself getting really sucked into it.

So, movie is about a young college student named Samantha.  She is trying to move out of the dorms because her roommate is awful.  She finds the perfect place, but she doesn’t have enough money for it, so she starts to scramble for money.

She finds a flier for babysitting, and after a bit of phone tag and a missed meeting, she lands the job and is promised 100 dollars for what amounts to less than four hours worth of work.  And mind you this movie while filmed a few years ago it was set in the 80s.

When she arrives (with her best friend having driven her there, to make sure things weren’t hinky) she discovers why he was so desperate to find someone: he and his wife didn’t have any young children, and he wants her to stay in the house with his elderly mother-in-law.  She freaks out, so he offers her 400 bucks for the night- 200 up front and the rest later (with an additional 20 so she can order pizza).

As the night goes on, things get creepier, and she passes out and wakes up in the middle of a satanic ritual.

So yeah, as babysitting gigs go, not the best.

MartianBethany: At 5 central (in about 45 minutes) I will be Bad Movie Live Tweeting the House of the Devil http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1172994/

MartianBethany: All of the movies for tonight’s selection also seem to be attempting to emulate 80’s movies. So that’ll be fun.

Adamthemann: oh this bad movie is gonna get beat down by my mighty words of uh um ummmm funniness

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann Damn skippy it will! This movie features an eclipse, a babysitter, and the 80’s! It makes fun of itself!

Adamthemann: Hot Tub Time Machine of Darkness would have been epic, but House of the Devil prepare to be smashed and tongue lashed

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann Hot Tub Time Machine will have it’s day, no worries there.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany no no this one is of Darkness 😛

MartianBethany: Netflix blurb on The House of the Devil: A cash-strapped college student named Samantha takes a babysitting job during a full lunar-

MartianBethany: eclipse and ends up fighting for her life. She soon discovers that her employers, Tom and Mary Ulman, are hiding a wicked, sick and-

MartianBethany: twisted secret.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Oh you never take babysitting jobs during the full lunar eclipse in the 80’s

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie It’s just a bad idea!

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany She’s gonna get herself killed, or in a dangerous situation

Adamthemann: Eclipse where is Jacob to save this poor girl from the vampire O_o wait wrong movie #bmlt

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann hahahaha he’ll show up and be an AWESOME werewolf instead

Adamthemann: @riathepinkie you mean shapeshifter, cause Stephenie Meyer didn’t feel like destroying 2 mythos in one series

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann Which is the only mercy she granted to the series

Adamthemann: @riathepinkie Yeah but then she tried making the vampires badass and it just failed

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann THAT’S BECAUSE SHE SUCKED ALL THE BADASS OUT OF THEM

(Martian Note: There was a short interval here when my internet went sailing into the abyss.  I swore a lot but it’s not relevant to the movie.)

MartianBethany: Okay, sorry, movie resumed. Lost my temper there.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany OH NOES! CLEARLY THE INTERNET IS TRYING TO STOP US!

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Woo! Let the bludgeoning commence!

MartianBethany: Samantha, our Main Character, has some really fabulous 80’s hair going.  (Martian Note: I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic, it’s very 80’s but still pretty cute.)

Adamthemann: @riathepinkie @MartianBethany either that or The Internet realizes how bad the movie is and is going “I CANNOT DEAL” #executesself

Adamthemann: Yes fabulous 80’s hair chick is gonna be the first to die. 10 bucks says she isn’t a virgin #horrormovieclichesftw!!

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann They could try and subvert stereotypes!

Adamthemann: @riathepinkie yeah and The Irate Gamer can do a review that hasn’t been copied from the Angry Video Game Nerd

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann I dunno, I’ll bet that the babysitter people NEED a virgin to sacrifice!

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany The Devil will be pleased with the virgin sacrifice

MartianBethany: Samantha has a stereotypical slutty roommate. Who’s surprised?

MartianBethany: She’s got a portable cassette tape player. It is the size of a brick, and must have cost a jillion dollars!


HiroOdan: It was probably more than an Ipod touch is today

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany Walkmans, Dude with a Jerry Curl, WHERES THE BEEF. It’s 1986 HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA GET A JOB

MartianBethany: Man that weird Farrah hair flipped up thing cracks me up.

MartianBethany: So she called the guy for the babysitter ad. She left a message, and walked away, when he called her back on the payphone.

MartianBethany: Then they agreed to meet, and he stood her up. She needs the money so she can move away from her awful roommate.

Adamthemann: maybe the devil had *69

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW HE’S EEEEEEEEVIL.

MartianBethany: Oh, and now they’re playing phone tag. Thrilling.

MartianBethany: “I’ll pay you 100 bucks! You’ll be home right after midnight! I promise to make this as painless for you as possible!”  (Martian Note: These are all real lines.)

MartianBethany: She’s not in any way creeped out. #toostupidtolive

HiroOdan: She’s too stupid already?

MartianBethany: The film feels like an 80’s film. They’ve processed it so that it looks older, somehow. Which I find amusing.

Adamthemann: “painless” so spiked devil coc……wait lets hope this movie doesn’t turn into Satan porn

HiroOdan: @Adamthemann Or necrophilia

MartianBethany: Now they’re driving through the woods to a big house in the middle of nowhere. And I’m pretty sure that’s my Dad’s old Volvo.

MartianBethany: Also, hope to god there’s no bow chicka chicka scenes, that’s just gross.

Adamthemann: @HiroOdan true that would be creepy as hell

Adamthemann: House in the middle of the woods, with Satan, oh this will end pleasantly, next the slut roommate is gonna come over

MartianBethany: “Such pretty girls.” Samantha’s friend is with her. #samanthasfrienddiesfirst

Adamthemann: “Hey random friend I am creeped out and the baby has swiggly glowing eyes, come over and keep me company, you won’t Die I swear”

MartianBethany: “Megan’s not staying, she’s just my ride. I don’t have a car.” The dad looks like she just gave him a big damn present.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany That sounds like a set up?! Quick when the friend leaves let’s molest the baby sitter

MartianBethany: She’s not babysitting kids, she’s going to watch an old lady! What, a rich guy like this can’t afford hospice?

Adamthemann:  “oh your friend isn’t staying?” Sam: “Sir why are you licking your lips and looking at my crotch?”

MartianBethany: Well at least her friend Megan is good and wigged. “it’s so stupid. I’m mad at you.” LISTEN TO MEGAN YOU IDIOT.

MartianBethany: 400 dollars for 4 hours? I can’t imagine why this is so important, or why she doesn’t think this is too hinky for words.

MartianBethany: Megan just pulled off into a grave yard to smoke. This won’t end well, guys.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany Grave yard is Hallow Ground #Highlander

Adamthemann: ZOMBIE ATTACK RUN BITCH RUN

MartianBethany: “Are you… are you the babysitter?” “No I’m not the babysit-” BLAM. So Megan just got her face shot off.

MartianBethany: Girlie, this guy is paying you 400 dollars and keeps telling you it’s no big deal. Honey, he is LYING. #toostupidtolive

MartianBethany: “We’re from the desert you know…” The desert? Is that anything like hell?

MartianBethany: “I couldn’t be more pleased and I know that Mother will feel the same.” Mother is going to eat Samantha.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany Well at least you know devil worshipers love their moms ❤ Mom

MartianBethany: Man this rotary phone is cracking me up. Also, Megan is ~mysteriously~ not picking up. Because her face is missing

MartianBethany: She just ordered pizza and committed one of my Pizza Pet Peeves.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany What peeve is that?

MartianBethany: It wasn’t bad with her, but I hate when people call for pizza and don’t have the address at hand.

MartianBethany: She did it because she flaked out, which I get, but some people go “I dunno.” If you don’t know where you are, how am I supposed to?

MartianBethany: Man she’s also going everywhere and snooping around. Acceptable snooping places for sitters to snoop: Kitchen, bathroom, living room

MartianBethany: Any ‘public’ room, people expect you to look around in. Everyone looks in the bathroom cabinet. But office? BAD GIRL.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany #TooSnoopyToLive already?

MartianBethany: Oh man, another babysitting rule broken- no headphones. You gotta keep an ear out for trouble. Music is okay. Just no headphones.

MartianBethany: And in dancing around like an idiot, she broke a vase. Too EVERYTHING to live guys. Now, Mother is going to creep up on her

MartianBethany: There was just a weird piano noise that I thought was the doorbell. Then I thought: Oh, pizza guy. Then it’s not. Huh.

MartianBethany: I’m a bit confused about this whole thing, actually. Although it’s a lot creepier than I thought it would be.

MartianBethany: Her friend deserved to die. She has one of those awful answering machine messages. “Hello? … … … OOOOohh I’m not actually here.”

MartianBethany: And now the old lady is moving around upstairs and she’s freaked out. Girl you are about 8 kinds of stupid.

MartianBethany: Look, you know what? You have 220 bucks, the money he gave you up front for the night plus pizza money. You know something is up.

MartianBethany: Take it, bribe the pizza guy to take you back to town when he gets there, and fucking run lady.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany But the pizza man is going to be the DEVIL in disguise or her boyfriend

MartianBethany: Doorbell just made her pee herself, I think. Don’t hold the pizza like that, lady, the toppings will just slide off.

MartianBethany: @HiroOdan Pizza man was the guy who shot her friend’s face off, although she doesn’t know it. He’s creeping around.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany Where did he get the pizza?

MartianBethany: @HiroOdan Killed the pizza dude when he came into the driveway, maybe?

MartianBethany: Actually he could have caught the pizza dude at the beginning of the drive and just given him the money.  (Martian Note: I never mentioned this, but from what I can tell the pizza number was a set up, and they were delivering the pizza all along.  I say this because she eats a slice later and that’s when she passes out, I assume the pizza was drugged.)

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany Never happened, this is supposed to be a horror movie, the girl’s going to face plant in the body of pizza dude

Adamthemann: back, okay so Pizza Dude is a Delivery boy by day and a Satan Hunter by night. Am I close

MartianBethany: Every light in the house went out, and the moon just went into full eclipse! TIMING!

MartianBethany: Whoa she just went all spacey and passed out and woke up tied to the ground! And we finally get to see Mother.

Adamthemann: If the moon is anything like the Moon in Evil Dead, then it is just a Projection of a Moon on Screen #oldmoviesinHDiscrap

MartianBethany: Mother is a bit… well her face is kinda fucked up. And she’s drawing symbols on Samantha in blood.

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann Appears to be stock footage of the moon during an eclipse. It’s a new movie made to LOOK old.

MartianBethany: Oooh they just force fed her blood from a weird skull thing. DON’T DRINK IT INDY. #sorryflashback

MartianBethany: She just broke loose of the ropes and ran for it! GO GO GO GO GO GO GO

MartianBethany: Oh she just killed one of them with a knife. She’s about to stab another I’ll bet.

MartianBethany: Yep, stabbed her in between the vertebrae. Go Sam. She’s also COATED in blood.

MartianBethany: Ooh and she grabbed the gun one of them was carrying. Now she’s calling 911. Smart girl. And having horrific visions. Not so good.

MartianBethany: She ran and ran and wound up in the grave yard. Is anybody surprised?

MartianBethany: “Listen to the voices, you’ve been chosen.” “NO!” *kills self* Well, Sam, I didn’t believe you would be that smart. Go you?

MartianBethany: Oh. Oh. She survived. Well is this a good ending or a bad ending?

MartianBethany: Oh that was the bad ending. Nurse says: “Poor thing. Don’t worry, you’re going to be just fine. Both of you.” Hand on Sam’s stomach.

Adamthemann: Soon to come House of The devil 2: Satan Grandchild

MartianBethany: So Sam is going to give birth to hellspawn! That’s exciting!

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann pretty much, yeah.

MartianBethany: What do you give at a satanic baby shower? brimstone scented air freshener?

MartianBethany: That movie was actually pretty creepy, btw. I spent several moments with my hands over my eyes going ‘don’t do that’ over and over.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany I say that every time I watch an episode of Family Matters

MartianBethany: Wow, so, I would pretty much watch that again. The first half was slow and creepy and the last bit was really wtf. In a good way.

Having thought about this movie, that final tweet stands.  I liked it- Netflix said I might go either way on it, but it had a lot of genuinely scary moments for me. I’m not so utterly jaded that it means this movie will terrify or anything (I’m just as susceptible as the next person, really) but if I genuinely am going ohnohnoohnoohnoohnoohno over and over again, then it definitely struck a nerve.

In other words: A+ would buy again.

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