Credo/The Devil’s Curse is a bad movie and should feel bad.

Apparently, btw, The Devil’s Curse was the name given the American release of this British film.

To sum up:

Alice is the main character, a women whose father committed suicide at some point in the past.  She is studying hard for finals or something.  A levels, maybe?  I don’t know.  Doesn’t matter, she’s working her brain off trying to pass the upcoming test.

She lives with four other people in a shared building, or something?  I don’t get the roommate situation- I suppose it doesn’t matter, just that she lives with four other people.  One of them, this idiotic American, gets them evicted from their place with no where to go.

Instead of renting a hotel room for the weekend until they can figure it out, or crashing with other buddies, the American helps them break into a former dormitory for theological students.  (Maybe for some kind of Seminary School? I haven’t the foggiest.)

They hear a ghost story where supposedly when the dorms were in use five students decided to summon a demon/satan/whatever as a test of faith and all but one of the students had ‘apparently’ committed suicide by the next morning.

The one remaining of the five still lives in the dorms as a homeless bum.

One by one each of the five people aside from Alice die.  This includes the homeless seminary student, whom Alice kills in the end because she believes he’s causing all the problems.

Then, in the end, you discover that the bulk of the movie didn’t happen.  Augh.

Okay, on to the tweets.

MartianBethany: Apparently Netflix and IMDB disagree on what the name of our next movie is. According to Netflix, The Devil’s Curse. IMDB says Credo

MartianBethany: In any case, here in 20 minutes I’ll be watching http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0854670/

MartianBethany: This movie does not seem to be full of 80’s like the other two, but I’m hoping it makes up for it by being extra demony

MartianBethany: Also, just from reading the netflix blurb I get the feeling it’s like 5ive Girls, and I’m kinda annoyed/amused by this.

Adamthemann: Demons are awesome, I do not care how evil they are

MartianBethany: Netflix blurb: Several theological students summon a hellish demon in an experiment to test their own faith– and end up paying a-

MartianBethany: severe price. Ten years later, the curse lives on as five students move into the abandoned residence hall of the Catholic school.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany I smell the plot to a Yugioh GX Episode. TO THE SHADOW REALM WITH THE STUDENTS….In America….for experiments

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann It’s a British film, so…

MartianBethany: Well they’re going a lot… weird with the intro. Lots of flashing imagery and bugs and stuff. Trying too hard to be creepy.

MartianBethany: I’m surprised there’s no God Chorus singing in Latin.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany cue the Yevon theme from FFX

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann Nah, the opening credits of FFVIII

MartianBethany: Boy is using the digital age to spy on his hot neighbor. Way to be creepy.

MartianBethany: And we have a Stupid American character! Huzzah! Did you know we’re a stereotype? Because we so are.

Adamthemann: oh those British mother F@&!ers

MartianBethany: So they’re breaking into a dormitory to have some place to sleep. Don’t they have other friends to crash with?

MartianBethany: I mean, if I were suddenly homeless and without attachment, even as reclusive as I am there are about 800 places I could stay.

MartianBethany: Okay, 800 is an exaggeration, but that’s not the point.

MartianBethany: And now we have INFOBARF. One of the girls has ALL THE INFO.

MartianBethany: As in the case with most infobarf sessions, she knows FAR too much about what might have gone on.

MartianBethany: Okay, somebody needs to curbstomp the Stupid American. I’ll do it.

Adamthemann: I love bookworm girls, especially with glasses and curly hair preferably red haired, tell me the nerdy bookworm girl is a redhead

MartianBethany: There are NO redheads. I blame that on the Brits, who have a pathological hatred of gingers. (Martian Note: I love red heads! Especially Scarlett!)

MartianBethany: We do have a creepy feel-uppy kid who wants in the bookworm’s pants. (She’s a dark blonde/light brown hair)

Adamthemann: D: damnit all

MartianBethany: This movie is an education in trying to hard. We don’t need demonic type noises, regular old creaky house will do it.

MartianBethany: I still want to know why they didn’t curb stomp the Stupid American for getting them evicted.

Adamthemann: because The Brits are a non-violent lot, they don’t even use guns on the Police Force

MartianBethany: Apparently the seminary students who lived here years ago summoned a demon and then ‘killed themselves’.

MartianBethany: Brainy Girl was looking up suicide in the library. I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THIS FILM.

MartianBethany: No, really, why are they friends with this American? This is the kind of guy I would ban from my house forever.

MartianBethany: And a homeless dude has been living in the building. He’s the one kid who didn’t kill himself 10 years ago, I’ll bet money.

Adamthemann: Homeless dude is the demon summoner. “Motherfuckers get outta my house, I done found it first, whippersnappers”

MartianBethany: “Go fuck yourself Jock.” “Actually you know what Jock, that is really good advice. Because no one else will.” #stupidamerican

MartianBethany: And we’ve had our first suicide! Sadly it was the cute lesbian. She’s bad at holding her breath.  (Martian Note: Seriously, during her whole death scene you could see her breathing.)

riathepinkie
: @MartianBethany Nooooo not the cute lesbian I care so much about her character right now!

MartianBethany: Now they’re going to leave and call the police, only GUESS WHAT THEY’RE LOCKED IN what a fucking shock.

MartianBethany: YES! YES EVERYONE KILL JOCK! No, why did you stop them, Brainy?

MartianBethany: Oh PLEASE let the stupid American be next to die.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany He’s the stupid American I bet he lives *sigh*

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie I will set this film on fire with my mind if he does.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Oooooh that could be interesting!

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany @riathepinkie “Do it!” “Embrace the power of the Dark Side.”

MartianBethany: WHOA OLD HOMELESS DUDE IS CREEPING UP ON DEAD GIRL. What the hell? SHE’S DEAD DON’T TOUCH HER.

MartianBethany: Yeah this movie is far too heavy handed with any creepy imagery.

MartianBethany: Ha that is the worst southern accent I’ve ever heard. Stupid American seeing visions of his southern Mom.

MartianBethany: Okay, Jock got singled out. They found out where he was, and the bathroom mirror is broken. Let me guess: cut himself with the mirror.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany I know I am gonna get hate mail for this, OHHHH That is why is he so stupid (Martian Note: While Dad is from Mars, Mom was born in Texas and I’ve lived there or Oklahoma my whole life.  Not quite textbook Southern, but…)

MartianBethany: Yep. Stupid American down. Three to go: brainy girl, black girl, and stalker dude. Also homeless guy, but he doesn’t count.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany So no setting things on fire? I’m kinda sad.

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie There’s a movie to go after this, it could still happen!

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Whoo! Set things on fire!

MartianBethany: And now Black Girl is missing, crawling around in duct work. So black Girl is next.

MartianBethany: Jump scares are bad film making a their best. Lazy and only good once. SO STOP IT.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Honestly? Jump Scares actually scare me. But then I’m easily startled.

HiroOdan: @riathepinkie Sadly, me too. Hate them though

Adamthemann: yeah but cheep thrills are the best thrills

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie Yes, they startle. Anyone can be startled. But it’s a lazy way to insert fear into a film

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Truth

MartianBethany: Yes. I jumped. I generally do when a Jump Scare happens, at least the first time. It just pisses me off.

MartianBethany: Unless the film has some other redeeming qualities (or only does the jump thing once) it is pretty much unforgivable.

MartianBethany: I think Stalker is about to die. I’m pretty sure, actually.

MartianBethany: Yep. Man I had hoped that a movie about demonic possession would be a little less boring and predictable, at least.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany Not the stalker, who else will put away all the produce. #NotThatKindOfStalker

MartianBethany: Alas, poor Stalker, we knew you well. So, Alice, what’s it going to take for you to make a rope of bedsheets and get the fuck out?

Adamthemann: The stalker is dead, hmmmm. I wonder who dies next

HiroOdan: Is brainy still alive?

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann The answer to that is: HOMELESS DUDE. That was brief.

MartianBethany: So now it is just the Brainy Girl left. Black Girl got buried in a duct work.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany that came out of left field I thought he was the demon

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann So did Brainy Girl, I think.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany what the brainy girl died D

MartianBethany: To clarify, Brainy girl killed the Homeless guy.

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann Nooooooo Brainy Girl! :(((

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany 😐 do not like *hides from brainy girl*

MartianBethany: And maybe this was all just part of Brainy Girl’s troubled imagination?

Adamthemann: Now I am picturing Brainy Girl in a Sith Robe laughing evilly……..

MartianBethany: It appears that Alice just went crazy and killed herself. Nobody else has died, in actuality. #FLAMES

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann Oh she was the daemon? #Iknewit

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany I thought it was alll a dream

MartianBethany: @HiroOdan Pretty much.

MartianBethany: So this WHOLE movie was all in Alice’s imagination. She dreamed that everyone died and wound up killing herself.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany wow that is subtly deep, and……What a twist….right O_o

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany WHAT? UGH! BURN IT!

HiroOdan: @riathepinkie @MartianBethany BURN THE MOVIE BRUHAHA

Adamthemann: @riathepinkie @MartianBethany here are the matches and the gasoline

MartianBethany: THIS WHOLE MOVIE DIDN’T HAPPEN. That’s such lazy film making. Should have known at the jump scares.

MartianBethany: No, that’s not a twist ending. You wrote yourself into a corner and didn’t know how to get out of it. So you cheated.

MartianBethany: also ON FIRE WITH MY MIND

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany WOOO FIRE!

Adamthemann: oooooo fire works

This movie could have worked but it had no subtlety to it.  Loud demonic-seeming noises aren’t as scary as creaking noises in the other room.  Sorry, just the way it is.

And now, a word about twist endings:

Fuck off.  No, really, there are a million movies trying to do the surprise ending, and it is difficult to do well.  Some movies pull it off, and it’s fun when they do.  However, spending a whole film establishing a character and a story and then turning around and just setting the whole thing on fire when it’s over is just spitting on the face of the person who has sat through your ‘masterpiece’.

This movie spent 2 hours taking you through a series events that didn’t actually occur, and the REASON it didn’t occur was a bullshit reason that you could not have possibly guessed until the end when all was revealed.

This shit is getting old.

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