So In Search of Lovecraft is pretty much what it says on the tin.  TV reporter goes in search of Lovecraftian monsters, finds them, goes crazy.  Everyone else dies. What a shock, eh?

At any rate, this movie was boring (which is a shame, because I like Lovecraft). Also, this movie had nothing to do with the title cover:

This film is baaaaaaaad.  The acting is terrible.  There are a couple of places where they are reading lines and they stop and wait for the other person, who fumbles for their line.  My high school’s production of Romeo and Juliet was much better acted than this movie, and I say this without any irony at all.

MartianBethany: In about fifteen minutes I’m watching In Search of Lovecraft  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0494237/

MartianBethany: I really like the whole Lovecraftian mythos. However, few movies have managed to capture it properly.

MartianBethany: Mostly because Lovecraft works on things that cannot be recreated in a visual medium without dulling it down.

MartianBethany: Netflix Blurb: When TV reporter Rebecca Marsh gets assigned the annual Halloween puff piece on this year’s topic, cosmic horror-

MartianBethany: -writer H.P. Lovecraft, she has no idea it will take her into a world where the creatures from his fiction actually exist.

Adamthemann: CTHULU WILL END YOU ALL. DO NOT WATCH YOU WILL GO MAD

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann I have watched better Lovecraft films than this and still retain my tenuous grip on my sanity.

Adamthemann: awesome awesome, just the blurb alone makes me want to watch. O_O is it in 3D

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann Sadly, no.

Adamthemann: now I want to make an H.P Lovecraft Movie in ULTRA HYPER OMEGA 3D that way the monsters REALLY look like they are real

MartianBethany: Hahaha the Title “In Search of Lovecraft” is done in the Papyrus font.

MartianBethany: The ‘old fashioned’ video camera they’re using is smaller than most STILL cameras of the era.

MartianBethany: Oh man, this lady’s mouth is… weird. Her teeth and her mouth are really big and when she opens it.

MartianBethany: Also, one of her eyes is much bigger than the other. It’s kinda weird. Like, she’s squinting on one side but not the other.

Adamthemann: the description of the lady made think “I’M POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN.”

(Martian Note: I do think that she looks more normal than she did when I was watching this.  Maybe I was tired.  One eye is bigger than the other, but it’s not as weird as it looked on my tv.  Maybe it’s the difference between my big damn tv and my computer screen.)

MartianBethany: This appears to be told from the news reel footage they were taking, which isn’t exactly UNIQUE but it’s better than home video.

MartianBethany: I will admit that the ‘news footage’ angle isn’t bad. It helps lay out a reason for all the awkward dialog.

MartianBethany: I mean, it’s bad and stilted, but they tried to cover for it by using the news interview angle.

MartianBethany: All of the after interview dialog is just AWFUL. Like they’re reading dialog just off camera.

MartianBethany: Hahaha okay Spoony Experiment friends- you know the scene in the insane asylum during Phantasmagoria 2? That was MUCH better done-

MartianBethany: -than the asylum scene in this one. So, there’s your landmark.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany I heard that Bethany

Plug: You should visit the Spoony Experiment if you don’t get this joke. (Most of you know me from that community, I know.)

MartianBethany: Oh there’s the shaky cam. HURK

MartianBethany: “Finish it!” *long beat* “…..okay.” They’re CLEARLY reading directly from a script. “I uh…” she waits for him to interrupt.

MartianBethany: Oh, hey, phone INFOBARF. At least it’s not ‘repeat everything the person on the other end says’ kind of infobarf.

MartianBethany: “This is a magic attack. Magic is nothing but advanced physics and mathematics.” WHAT? Also, cheesy looking corpse alert.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany That just made my brain explode.

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie This film IS dangerous for your sanity. IT BRAINFUCKS YOU WITH HORRIBLE LOGIC

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany SO IT IS AN ELDERICH HORROR!

MartianBethany: Also, there’s supposed to be a high school student and 2 older news reporters, one who was a veteran camera man, but they all look-

MartianBethany: -about the same age. I think we made a film like this in high school.

MartianBethany: Now they’re spelunking in almost total darkness. #toodumbtolive

MartianBethany: I hate it when people try to take modern footage and make it look old. THAT FILTER ISN’T WORKING ASSHOLES.

MartianBethany: Well the film is faithful to Lovecraftian mythos. The dialog is TERRIBLE. Zing!

MartianBethany: (I like Lovecraft, but his dialog really is awful.)

MartianBethany: Also I like it when they have ‘old fashioned’ people who use modern phrasing.

MartianBethany: THRILLS as she uses a MICROFICHE.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Edge of our seat suspense right there.

MartianBethany: “This sure beats the internet!” No it doesn’t you moron, you just get confused and panic when you see all the keys.

MartianBethany: TOO MANY BUTTONS TO PUSH BLONDE POWERS FAILING.

Xsmootx: @MartianBethany I think you mean BLONDE POWERS ACTIVATING! DITZING-OUT INITIATED!

MartianBethany: The cameraman WHITTLES as a hobby it’s hilarious.

MartianBethany: Hahaha she’s having someone else using the computer. I’m right about her getting confused when she sees a keyboard.


Adamthemann: Keyboards = instruments of madness, just type and do not think and you will be convinced you are typing gibberish.

MartianBethany: “They have no idea of what’s lurking beyond the threshold of their mundane world.” She has not spoken like this at all.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany *bender voice* ahhh consistency is for hookers and fat people. #BenderBendingRodireguize makes this movie better

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany WAIT WAIT WAIT, you can choose reality ORRRRRR you can choose the mystery box

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann WHAT’S IN THE BOX? WHAT’S IN THE BOX? #sevenreference

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany Inside ohhhh inside is quite fun, inside is… a one way trip to BEYOND THE THRESHOLD OF THE MUNDANE WORLD

MartianBethany: They now have a witch. To belabor the point. SHE’S A WITCH BURN HER!

MartianBethany: Insert newt jokes here:

MartianBethany: I just keep getting reminded of better movies I’d rather be watching.

MartianBethany: “How long have you been a witch?” “About 400 years.” Really? We’re going with the past life reincarnation old wicca bs?

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Or! OR MAYBE SHE’S IMMORTAL ALA SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH?

MartianBethany: As a former Wiccan I’m offended by people who don’t understand that the religion is less than a century old.

Cmdrsue: @MartianBethany well, maybe witch years are like dog years and it’s really only 57 years.

Adamthemann: HEY Wicca is a very very interesting religion

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann Don’t misunderstand, I LIKE WICCA. I just don’t like it when people mistake a modern religion for ancient practices.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany @riathepinkie orrrrrr maybe the main character was Dead the whole time 😛

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann OF COURSE! #generalbison

MartianBethany: OH MY GOD GUYS A DOG OUTSIDE IS BARKING. Really, this is a moment of tension?

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany or bad timing of the film crew 😛

MartianBethany: Really, over dramatic music when the dogs start barking. Because dogs barking in a neighborhood with dogs in it is weird.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany watch as I play unfitting music while the dog barks

MartianBethany: Oh good lord everyone gets their own I THINK I’M GOING CRAZY monologue.

Adamthemann: It is either an I’m going crazy monologue or an I think I’m turning Japanese Monologue

MartianBethany: In all reality this movie is MIND NUMBINGLY BORING.

MartianBethany: Yeah, that chain lock is totally going to keep a demon from another world out of the room.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany if it is magic it just might……wait I am not playing D&D…..who changed the signs on the door again

MartianBethany: Oh, wow, the house which had no power… STILL HAS NO POWER. Are we all fucking shocked or what?

Adamthemann: If House has no power, how can he not find out if the disease is not Lupus…..Yeah I went there

MartianBethany: Oh great here is the big inspiring rallying speech. You know, if they come out just fine, I’m going to be pissed off. Really.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany They’re gonna come out of it just fine.

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie Not all of them! The one guy just killed himself! #thingsarelookingup

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Wheee Lovecraftian Horror!

Adamthemann: @riathepinkie @MartianBethany yeah except for the fact they will have a MIGHTY NEED for white castle…..am I watching the wrong movie

MartianBethany: Camera: shot at the sink, shot at the mirror, shot at the sink, shot at the mirror. Yeah, that’s not a set up for a jump scare.

Adamthemann: and god said to the director of this movie “You blasphemous motherfucker how dare you make a film of the elder gods and not me.”

MartianBethany: The witch apparently has an elaborate ritual cloth embroidered with precisely the symbols she needs for this situation.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany that is just how she roles “Yo dawgs, I am a 400 year old witch so I gots to have this ritual symbol blinging yo”

MartianBethany: I figured out who the lead girl reminds me of. She’s like a budget K Stew with even LESS talent.

Cmdrsue: @MartianBethany less talent? So she doesn’t emanate from the screen that she’s bored with you personally?

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Wait, wait, wait LESS talent? Is that even possible?

Adamthemann: @cmdrsue @MartianBethany how dare you both speak untruths of Kristen Stewart the goddess of the screen..#cantsaythatwithoutlaughing

Adamthemann: @riathepinkie @MartianBethany for Kristen Stewart anything is possible when it comes to her shitty acting 🙂

MartianBethany: Well this film isn’t full of semi talented actors forced to read a boring script. This film is full of UN talented actors reading an-

MartianBethany: AWFUL script. So yes, being worse is very very possible.

MartianBethany: BTW- the only way people go insane is in the rambling mumbling flailing way. That’s it. No other way.

Adamthemann: showing madness should be subtle not blatant

MartianBethany: You ever see a stage magician? They make doves or large objects vanish with ease. Everybody knows that’s fake.

MartianBethany: But you get a guy on stage who grunts and groans and strains and eventually bends a spoon, then people believe him. Because you-

MartianBethany: -only get big responses from small results. So the whole BAM HEY I’M CRAZY HE’S A DEMON BLARGH thing isn’t scary, creepy, or smart.

MartianBethany: You can make good, creepy stuff on a little budget provided you have the acting to pull it off. But people are obsessed with going big

MartianBethany: There are lots of horror shorts on youtube that are really great, and they are SO much better than this movie.

MartianBethany: Okay, so, the great big whirling vortex of suck that was this movie is over.

MartianBethany: I think I’m going to call it for the night. I’m kinda tired and I want to watch something GOOD for a change.

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