I generally like bad movies.  I find them entertaining.  Bad acting, bad lighting, bad sound, bad film- that all leads to more amusement on my end.  Yeah, I tear them apart, but mostly the same way I tease my friends: with no little love and affection.

This movie downright pissed me off.  The plot points?  Bullshit.  The resolution?  Double-bullshit.  The name of the fucking movie?  Almost NOTHING to do with the god damned plot.

So here’s what happened: this guy, at some point in the past, killed a dude.  He meets a girl who is kinda nice, and her ex who is an asshole.  He does meals for wheels with the girl, on the basis of getting to know her better.  Her ex is an aggressive asshole, which doesn’t at all lead Our Hero to ask himself why she brought him on a ‘getting to know you’ exercise controlled by her ex.

Later, the girl calls Our Hero and tells him that her ex is going crazy and she needs a place to sleep, and she knows she just met him but can she come over and spend the night?  She really needs a place to crash.  So he agrees, and in the middle of the night the Ex comes over and thrashes him into a coma.

Two years later he wakes up out of a coma and the police cannot find out anything about the girl or her ex, and concludes it’s likely two transients who were running some kind of scam on him (or a hooker and her pimp, but the guy won’t admit it).

Actually, I want to interrupt… myself, I guess, to discuss a trope that pisses me right the fuck off: the unhelpful and useless cops.  The cop in this film was like the epitome of this trope.  Not only could he not get anything done, but he was outright incredulous of things that I can’t imagine any cop in any city would be incredulous.  “You’re telling me that after knowing her for ONE DAY she came over?”  This is from people who get their only impression from police officers from film and the traffic ticket they got.  Having known several (my police officer is an uncle) and having had to file a missing persons report (resolved happily) I just plain dislike this trope.  So, moving on:

Our Hero decides to find the girl for himself, and after stumbling onto a lead like an idiot, actually does so.  He finds out that the guy he killed long ago was her father, that her ‘ex’ was in fact her brother, and they were trying to get their vengeance for the death of their Dad.

THAT was the actual plot.  But you know what took most of the screen time for most of the film?  This stupid supernatural crap that was actually only a sideline.  They tried to build a lot of creepy atmosphere through the use of ghosts jumping out and being scary at pretty regular intervals (jump scares cause one to startle, but they aren’t creepy, especially after the millionth time it’s happened) and built up a lot about his sight and his ability to see and that was all WASTED FILM TIME.  This movie is a time waster of epic proportions and doesn’t have it’s god damned priorities straight.

More Thoughts:

First of all, the guy was an asshole.  He was completely unlikeable.  When he ended up killing the one guy, you see that he steals this guy’s crucifix.  Why?  He doesn’t wear it, he doesn’t pawn it, he stuffs it in a statue so that nobody would ever find it (which they wouldn’t if he hadn’t stolen it in the first place.)  I guess it was so that the girl could find it later and pin the death of her dad on him, I guess.  No other really good reason that I can think of.  He also at some point steals money from the person who’s been helping take care of him while he convalesces his way out of the coma, and he steals a car from a friend who was going to DRIVE him where he wanted to go anyway.

During the course of finding the Girl (named Dana) and her Ex, he finds out that one of the old ladies that the meal for wheels people help is named Dana.  In a leap of logic so stunningly idiotic it boggles the mind, our Hero decides that because her name is Dana, she must somehow know HIS Dana.

The idiotic part is that he’s fucking right.  Because Dana gave him a false name, so she decided to give him HER AUNT’S NAME WHO SHE KNEW THIS GUY WOULD PROBABLY MEET.  No, really.  NO REALLY.

Also, the Aunt is an old blind lady and he scares her into getting a knife out, which through misfortune leads her to hurt herself and she ends up dying because this guy was being an aggressive asshole to an OLD BLIND LADY WHO HASN’T HURT HIM.

This is a movie whose plot only functions because the people involved were COLOSSAL IDIOTS.

In the end he kills the Ex (who is actually the girl’s brother), the girl’s father, and the girl’s aunt.  When she freaks out because he’s broken into her house and points a gun at her, he goads her into shooting him because he knows she is pursued by a ghost and that the ghost will take over him and they will all die.  Worst, she probably has the same knowledge as he does because she SEES THE SAME THINGS HE DOES.  OH COME THE FUCK ON (OCTFO).

Tweets:

MartianBethany: Okay, Ninja #bmlt in about 30 minutes. That’s when the clock reads :45, I’ll be watching Sight http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220903/

MartianBethany: I always get excited and want to jump the gun on these things. But guys, this one uses the word ‘twist’ in the blurb. Let me guess:

MartianBethany: HE WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME. Man if that’s the case, I quit. (No I don’t.)

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany No the twist is that he was never alive to begin with ooooo

MartianBethany: @HiroOdan Don’t even joke about that #thatsprobablythetwist

Adamthemann: or he was never there at all, it was all in his mind #ihatesaintelsewhereendings

MartianBethany: Blurb: Clayton Haske heads the cast as Jeffrey, a young man tormented by the vengeance-seeking souls of the departed in this creepy-

MartianBethany: -ghost story that puts an unnerving new twist on the genre.

MartianBethany: Oh, good, dumb echoey voice over to start with. “Do you ever feel like you’re being watched?” YES THE ALIEN MASTERMINDS WATCH ME.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany @Adamthemann Yup all in his mind

MartianBethany: Please please PLEASE tell me this isn’t going to be a movie full of narration. Because that’s dumb.

Adamthemann: the only way it will put a twist on Ghost Stories is if the story was real and the acting was good 🙂

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann I can already tell you that is not the case.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany I feel like I’m being watched all the time! I’m not crazy.

Adamthemann: @riathepinkie @MartianBethany O_O you too

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann Yes I think we’re all being watched.

MartianBethany: Intro credits are ALL in shaky cam. WHY GOD WHY.

MartianBethany: You know I spent ten minutes the other day thinking up ways to avoid just jouncing a hand held cam around for extreme low budget films

MartianBethany: If I can, WHY THE FUCK CAN’T THEY?

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany BECAUSE THEY ARE LAZY HACKS! Argh Shakycam can’t end soon enough for me.

Adamthemann: Shakeycam best style of shot since the Dutch angle of Battlefield Earth /sarcasm

MartianBethany: Bad movie pet peeve number 43: incorrectly mixed sound. I can’t hear any dialog over ‘creepy’ background mix.

MartianBethany: Wow, we’re less than 15 minutes in and already the jump scare has gotten FUCKING OLD JESUS.

Adamthemann: Jump scares are older then that rotting smelly gym sock in the abandoned locker in boys locker room #setupforfamilyguyjoke

MartianBethany: This character has apparently nearly died several times. So I wouldn’t be shocked if THEY WERE DEAD THE WHOLE TIME was the case.

MartianBethany: “Oh I’m late.” “Hey do you need a ride?” *they sit in the car and keep talking for five minutes*

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany padding padding padding *sings*

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Dead The Whole Time: Becoming a strange theme in these movies.

MartianBethany: THRILLS AS HE GIVES THE CUTE GIRL HIS PHONE NUMBER

Adamthemann: Dead the whole time “Fiona, you make me want to enjoy my life again” #actualquotefromshameless

MartianBethany: “I didn’t get your name this whole time.” BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T QUIT TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF.

Adamthemann: Rule #3 guys, let the women talk about herself, not you talk about yourself.

MartianBethany: There is a HUGE difference between someone who is reading lines and acting. These guys are reading lines.

MartianBethany: CuteGirl (Dana) apparently can see ghosts too. And the ghosts are ATTACK ghosts. Also some big guy just threatened him.

HiroOdan: I’d be more like “I don’t remember what your name was, damn memory”

Adamthemann: Girl: I see dead people *fog comes out of mouth*

MartianBethany: I’ll bet every old lady he delivers meals on wheels to has a ghost in their closet.

MartianBethany: Also, the filmography SUCKS. These high, weirdly angled closeups are not flattering and they don’t capture the eyes well.

MartianBethany: ESPECIALLY in bad lighting.

Adamthemann: no but it catches the Nostrils JUST RIGHT. Hello Mr. Nose Goblin

MartianBethany: The soundtrack sounds like a bunch of string players figuring out how to make annoying noises on the string. #nothattiknoworanything  (Martian Note: my cello, her name is Rogue, and she’s in the shop or you’d have a picture.)

MartianBethany: Dana’s ex just beat the hell out of whats his nuts and now he’s in the hospital. He’s freaking out because it was dark.

MartianBethany: THRILLS as Jeffrey DESCRIBES the jealous asshole who beat the shit out of him. BUT THERE’S SCARY MUSIC. So there’s that. #yawn

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany The Jealous asshole was never alive to begin with

MartianBethany: Oh god as he’s telling the police what happened we see FLASHBACKS of what happened TEN MINUTES AGO. FUCK OFF.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany Well OBVIOUSLY we have short attention spans. Duh.

MartianBethany: Oh wow this is ANOTHER god damned dream from when he was a kid oh isn’t that fucking exciting IS THERE A PLOT IN THIS MOVIE?

MartianBethany: You know what’s creepy? Abandoned hospitals. #notinthismovie

Adamthemann: The Dark Side I sense in you @MartianBethany

MartianBethany: 45 minutes in, we have the first gleanings of what might be plot. HE MAY HAVE TO MOVE IN TO HIS DAD’S HOUSE TO SAVE MONEY.

MartianBethany: His Dad is dead, so he’d have to deal with Dad’s ghost. Or he could have all that shit sold off and buy his own place free and clear.

Adamthemann: DUN DUN DUN……worst twist ever

MartianBethany: They can’t find any trace of Dana at all. She and the ex-boyfriend were DEAD THE WHOLE TIME.

MartianBethany: The cop is being unnecessarily bad and unhelpful.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany or they were at make out point getting it on until they had a bad Acid Trip and dreamt everyone was dieing

MartianBethany: He was apparently in a coma forever. It is now 2 years after his savage beating by the angry and jealous ex.

Adamthemann: and Zoom out and see Coma boy holding a snow globe of the town. #saintelsewherehauntsmeso

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann God if that was the case I might ANGRY PUKE

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany LMAO it is such a cop out ending now. When you see it once it is like huh I can see that. But then everyone does it

MartianBethany: Well he is in the hospital again. Because he got mugged. How many times is going to almost die before we get to the TWIST ending?

Adamthemann: Twist ending theory, it was the doctors drugging him

EmaCartoon: @MartianBethany The twist? He SURVIVES.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany the twist is that he never got to the hospital, he’s just unconscious from his first beating and is lying in an alley

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann Oh god that might be it. HE’S BEEN IN A MENTAL ASYLUM SINCE HE WAS 10.

EmaCartoon: @MartianBethany Or maybe he just finally *actually* dies instead of almost?

MartianBethany: @EmaCartoon God, I hope so.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany you say that like it is a bad thing. The padded rooms make good beds

Adamthemann: @EmaCartoon @MartianBethany OR he is a ghost stuck in a loop thinking he is repeating the same events just in chronological order

MartianBethany: THRILL as he plays phone tag with an old lady.

Adamthemann: brb dishes

MartianBethany: THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON. They’re eating dinner! Isn’t that fucking exciting? #headdesk

riathepinkie: @Adamthemann your dishes seem more exciting than this movie.

MartianBethany: @riathepinkie @Adamthemann …oh, trust me, there is no ‘seem’ about it. They ARE.

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany UGH now THAT is a bad movie.

MartianBethany: And now he’s screaming at an old blind lady and when she attacked him she stabbed herself. #classy

MartianBethany: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY oh god MOVIE PLEASE FUCKING END

MartianBethany: So far Jeffrey has killed an old man AND a blind lady, stolen money from his uncle and a car from his friend. Fucking classy.

Adamthemann: “The Dishes are done!” Kenny Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s dead

MartianBethany: I haven’t ragequit the movie yet because I want to see what ridiculous bullshit they’re going to use for this ending.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany here have this Red Lantern Power Ring and Unleash the RAGE

MartianBethany: Apparently it wasn’t her ex boyfriend, it was her brother. Well that’s exciting.

Adamthemann: Wait what she was dating her brother. Incest is not Wincest

MartianBethany: @Adamthemann No incest. They were tricking Jeffrey because he killed their Dad, though how they knew I have no clue.

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany Deus Ex Machina is how they knew

MartianBethany: So the big twist was… the guy he killed at some point (because he was possessed or something) had kids and they tried to kill him.

MartianBethany: So, yeah, that whole movie that was supposed to be the scary ghost story? Pretty much had nothing to do with ghosts.

HiroOdan: @MartianBethany So the twist was that there was none?

Adamthemann: The twist is they got you to watch the movie 😛

riathepinkie: @MartianBethany … just ….

Adamthemann: @MartianBethany The only ghost in the room was the plot, and that was oddly transparent. 😛

MartianBethany: Man that whole movie was full of WHY WON’T THIS END? For some melodramatic story that wasn’t supernatural at all. Motherfucker.

MartianBethany: You did not hear me LITERALLY yell OH COME THE FUCK ON but trust me, I did.

cmdrsue: @MartianBethany we need to make OCTFO a widely accepted thing like LOL

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