The A Word is a documentary short by Lindsay Ellis, and it’s about abortion.

For those of us who follow Lindsay as the Nostalgia Chick (almost everybody who’s reading this) we only know her through her very funny videos.  This is an emotionally raw movie and it was very difficult for me to watch.  Difficult in the way that it’s supposed to be, I feel, but for those of us who watch the Nostalgia Chick, it’s jarring.

The short is about how abortion is politicized, and how the women and men who are dealing with abortion are marginalized and largely ignored.  Lindsay talks about her own abortion, how torn she is.  She goes to her family home and talks about her abortion with her mother, as well as the teen pregnancies that her mother as a Guidance Counselor has dealt with.  Lindsay gets up in front of a group of anti-abortion people and talks about her experience, which was difficult to watch.  I can’t imagine how hard it was for her to say.

It is the most honest piece of film I’ve seen done on abortion, treating the subject itself and everyone on camera with respect.  It broke my heart in the way it was supposed to, and I don’t know what else to say.  You should send her money so she’ll send you a copy, which will help her get into film festivals.  This is something that needs to be said.

At the time of the filming, Lindsay was unsure how she felt about her abortion.  She wasn’t sure whether or not she made the right decision, and every time someone told her it was the right decision she did that mouth movement that means “I accept that you’re trying to reassure me but it’s not helping”.  It’s the same face people make when they’re at a funeral and someone says “Well, it’s sad but at least he died quickly.”

Lindsay may have made the wrong decision for her.  She doesn’t discuss much why she made the decision- Ritvik (aka Babydaddy) talks about it, but she’s still clearly not sure.  I don’t know why Lindsay made her decision, and it’s not my business.  I can’t tell whether or not she made the right decision for her, and that’s not my business either.  I’m a fan, and I care about her, but it’s not my business.

Just because Lindsay may have made the wrong decision doesn’t make it the wrong decision for everyone, and just because sometimes it’s the right decision doesn’t make it the right decision for everyone.  The people who go through abortion generally have no outlet for their grief or relief, and abortion advocates as well as the anti-abortionists don’t offer anything other than politicization of the issue.  Some people are okay, but some people aren’t, and there are very few resources available to a woman who doesn’t know how to deal with her emotions post abortion.

I suck at reviews.  I can’t comment much as to the very technical issues (my copy fritzed out and pixellated a couple of times but I’ve read some other reviews and it seems to be only my copy).  I think this film will upset people who feel like pro-life feminists should never regret an abortion, which is a stupid thing to say.  I think this film will draw attention to the lack of after care women who abort are given, and how polarized opinions about them must be. I think it’s effective, raw and honest, and I think we need more strong voices like Lindsay who are willing to say how they feel.  I feel like people need to see this, and I watched it four times in short succession.