This movie.  Guys, this movie.

The acting varies between bad and bloody atrocious, and the script is stuck pretty firmly on ‘awful’.  I know that the script was written in part by Argento, and English is not his first language.  I acknowledge this.  However, if you do not grasp the language well enough to tell what works and what doesn’t work, then you should not film in that language.

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So I read The Scent of Shadows: The First Sign of the Zodiac by Vicki Pettersson.  I picked it up expecting a really bad Laurell K Hamilton knock off, and I thought it might be good for a laugh.  I immediately put it in the popcorn book category- something I would breeze through and that wouldn’t leave much of an impression on me.  I didn’t expect for it to enrage me halfway through.  It did, and I put the book down and read something that was less likely to make me throw the book across the room.

So when I picked it back up, planning on reading it to make fun of it and talk about it here, I didn’t expect to end up wanting to get the next one.  Yeah, I liked this book enough that I will probably give the author more monies.  The book has its issues, and I’ll get to them, but when I finished the book I realized I wanted to read the next book in the series.  So, why did I change my mind?
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The A Word is a documentary short by Lindsay Ellis, and it’s about abortion.

For those of us who follow Lindsay as the Nostalgia Chick (almost everybody who’s reading this) we only know her through her very funny videos.  This is an emotionally raw movie and it was very difficult for me to watch.  Difficult in the way that it’s supposed to be, I feel, but for those of us who watch the Nostalgia Chick, it’s jarring.

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I’m going to be doing a review of the Dario Argento version of Phantom of the Opera later this week, but I want to say something quite long about Phantom/Christine shipping before.  I’m going to talk about the relationships in general, but I’m using mostly examples from Schumacher version so keep that in mind while I rant for a few minutes.

Christine (played by Emmy Rossum) reveals that since she came to Madame Giry’s ballet dormitories she’s been in contact with this ‘Angel of Music’, whom we know to be the Phantom (Gerard Butler).  I believe she arrived at the dormitories when she was six.  Translation: the Phantom has been creeping her since she was pre-adolescent.  She also has, at the beginning of the movie, never physically met the man.  He could be a creepy old man with control issues, living in a basement, lusting after a teenager.  (Hint: He is.)

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First, a brief announcement.

I think you guys have already noticed, but with the beginning of the school year I won’t be doing quite so many of the bad movie live tweets.  I will try, but they involve scheduling them for when at least some people are online and when I don’t have anything else to do, and I have more coursework this year than I have in past semesters, so I generally do have something else to do.

I do still have plans (and plans within plans) for content.  I will continue to watch and review movies, hopefully for the funny but I may find some good ones, I just may end up doing this at 4 am when nobody’s up (so a live tweet is kinda pointless, that’s a group participation thing).  I have a couple of books I want to read and do chapter-by-chapter reviews of, one which seems to be a bad Laurell K. Hamilton knock off.  I would also like to do some ‘TV I like” segments, which considering how much television I don’t watch (turned off my cable a while back) will consist of mostly older stuff.  And heavily influenced by Joss Whedon.

Speaking of Joss Whedon, I wanted to give a brief summation of my feelings on the Buffy Remake.

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I generally like bad movies.  I find them entertaining.  Bad acting, bad lighting, bad sound, bad film- that all leads to more amusement on my end.  Yeah, I tear them apart, but mostly the same way I tease my friends: with no little love and affection.

This movie downright pissed me off.  The plot points?  Bullshit.  The resolution?  Double-bullshit.  The name of the fucking movie?  Almost NOTHING to do with the god damned plot.

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As a side note: I took to long to doing the screenshots of this and apparently Netflix took this off the Instant Watch list. (Really? A gem like this? What a loss! /sarcasm)

This movie was released in 2001 according to IMDB.  The film quality made it look like it had been filmed in the 70’s.  It might be on purpose, like it’s imitating some old b-movie, but that’s just not very clear.  There’s also some weird name bs- according to Netflix it’s called Keeper of Souls, but according to IMDB it’s called The Waking. Don’t worry, neither title makes sense.

This was a film with a lead actor (Tim Card) who was also the writer and director.

He played the lead, and the woman who played his wife was uncomfortably younger than him.  I know that having a woman who’s much younger than the lead actor play the wife/girlfriend/romantic interest is pretty much a Hollywood standard, but this is definitely in the awkward zone.

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Non-movie related note: the theme barfed on us last night, so we have a place holder up while I go through and try to figure out what we’re going to do.  If the page changes, most likely it’s because me or my friend are trying to fix it, so just bear with us.  Thanks.

So, Paranormal Entity has been suggested to me by Netflix a whole bunch, but it wasn’t until I read the blurb on it that I decided to watch it.  You see, that was when I realized it was a knock off of Paranormal Activity.  You would think the name would give that up, but I had assumed that there was NO way they could POSSIBLY have cut it that close.

I was so very, very wrong.

This movie was about a small family, a guy, his sister (Samantha) and his Mom who have been having ‘weird’ things happen.  They set up cameras all over the house in order to catch the paranormal activity (see what I did there) that was going on at night.

Things start happening very quickly- crosses get thrown, ashes are smeared everywhere, people .  In the end the demon (which the paranormal expert declares is an incubus) wins.

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So In Search of Lovecraft is pretty much what it says on the tin.  TV reporter goes in search of Lovecraftian monsters, finds them, goes crazy.  Everyone else dies. What a shock, eh?

At any rate, this movie was boring (which is a shame, because I like Lovecraft). Also, this movie had nothing to do with the title cover:

This film is baaaaaaaad.  The acting is terrible.  There are a couple of places where they are reading lines and they stop and wait for the other person, who fumbles for their line.  My high school’s production of Romeo and Juliet was much better acted than this movie, and I say this without any irony at all.

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The Haunting of Winchester House is about a family that goes to the famous Winchester Mystery House to caretake for a few months.

They have a near car accident on the way up to the house and then they have a bunch of weird shit happening and their little girl (by little I mean the actress is 14 but she’s portrayed much younger) goes missing and they have to find this ghost girl and in the end they were DEAD THE WHOLE TIME.

I am honestly so sick of this it’s becoming hilarious.

Tweets.

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BethanytheMartian

Bethany says:

The Past